“In-ability to …

“In-ability to forgive is like taking some poison with the hope that it will kill the other person.”I recently lend my house key to a colleague to access some things she needed while I was a way on a business seminar. On my way back however, I overlooked the issue of how I was going to get into my house as that was the only set I had. Way late into the day just as I was at the doorstep, did the matter of the key struck.Emediately, I got into a frenzy as the realisation of my plight sunk.I was about to be stranded outside,not in the middle of nowhere but right outside my doorstep.Furious, I dialed my friends number and couldn’t stand still while awaiting the dial to go through.To an onlooker I must have looked like I was dancing to some music or really pressed for the toilet.In my mind already, several rehearsal of my upcoming confrontational phone call were staging, and the beeping sound signalling a failed call due to a network problem gave in to more staging activity in my brain than in a theater. When I couldn’t get through still, I looked at the mental picture I must have posed and laughed.Silently ofcause. A neighbour called me ever to his apartment and preoccupied me as we tried for an alternative solution. As we were talking, I realised then how much of a blessing the key incident was because in the hours of waiting, I got to take time to listen to someones life story and know them better.

I tried calling again and this time it went through and when I inquired about my key she sounded so apologetic and we together devised a way for me to get my key. However, at the time I really did not care about her reasons and didn’t spare the details of my disappointment and anger,to topple it all I dropped the phone on her, hoping to inflict similar hurt .It could have worked two if it didn’t feel so wrong and drag me along with it.I tried the “self talk” about how much in the right I was but now even my shoulders felt heavier.I was now more miserable than before and the job my friendly neighbour had done was spoiled. It was either that I let revenge bug sting me or try to save my self from drowning in an ocean of anger.I chose to forgive her and texted her to let her know I understood that people make mistakes and that I had forgiven her.She called and thanked me and I was as cheerful as ever.Then I realised that the pain I had felt had nearly consumed me and that by deciding to forgive my colleague I had freed myself and de-toxing my body of all the negative energy and giving room to more love and happiness.

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About ferwam

I am a passionate aspiring writer who is taking baby steps to realise her dream. Though like a baby, its given I will stumble and fall, I wish to stand up and continue with my journey and encourage you all to take part in this dream.
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One Response to “In-ability to …

  1. Tshedy says:

    Forgiveness leaves one at peace, but holdind a grudge is so unhealthy. Happy coz u ddnt sleep wth that anger.

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