Well, if there is anything I have learned about friendship is that: like any other relationship it requires commitment.I used to think it was enough effort to spend time with my friend should fate permit that we meet again, and that just the referral to him or her as thus was an eternal seal that none could break. To me, it was the closest bond to family.
I went through high school still with this illusion of a mind-set and had my eyes opened at varsity however. I lost friends like mosquitoes in a room sprayed with DOOM ( insecticide). “What was wrong with this people!” I often wondered.
I was obviously too hot to handle (hahaha!) Seriously though, I was beginning to realise that people I thought of as friends thought of me as an acquaintance. If that was not a bubble buster, I don’t know what is!
So, I kept my distance also and stopped thinking I had friends. It was obviously just me, my siblings and the rest of the world. However, there was this particular pair of ‘study buddies’ who followed me around even if we were done studying. Sadly, I could not stamp them with the seal of friendship because I had been burned a couple of times and was now twice shy, or so I thought. However, I played along and did all the stuff friends do together never allowing the memories to be filed as sacred.
Things changed one winter holiday by an angry call from one of my Study pair. She fumed and had the gull to term me as uncaring and not deserving of friendship as I just used her when it suited me. I never got the chance to reply in my defence because she quickly cut me short by pointing out that if I had any burgage I better call and talk and let her do the talking as she had pid for the call after all. I fumed but at a dead phone line at the other end. Later when my anger had subsided, I did an introspection.
Maybe for the past years I had been shifting all blame for my failed relationships on others and not thinking to check if all was well on my side. Friends are not like family. There is no blood gluing the bond ( and the family bond still needs polishing too) of friendship so we need to have rules spelling out the terms of relating. Yes It is a work in progress being friends with anyone. We patched things up by talking things through and outlining the expectations etcetera and are still friends to date.
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